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Silent Hill: Revelation Review

SILENT HILL: REVELATION
(Also Known as the Sequel I Wasted a Near Decade Waiting For)

by Tina Teso




Two things. First, I was a fan of the first Silent Hill film. Second, I pay attention to the stupidest, dumbest details in any given film (read my review of Paranormal Activity 2 for reference). Six years have passed since the release of Silent Hill, and my patience was rewarded by one of the most awful films I've seen in recent memory, Silent Hill: Revelation.

The plot in Silent Hill was only a little more coherent than in Revelation. The reason why I enjoyed it so much was for the arresting visuals. Silent Hill: Revelation was just a mishmash of bargain basement graphics, a plot that couldn't get any worse, lackluster acting and the accents that made you wish that movies were still silent.

New to the Silent Hill franchise is Australian actress, Adelaide Clemens as the now 18 year-old Sharon and Game of Thrones actor, Kit Harington as love interest Vincent.
Details, no matter how inane, are important to suspension of belief. And the pronunciation of one word identified Clemens as anyone but American, at least to my ears. I love it when a non American can pull off a good American accent (Nicole Kidman, Christian Bale), of course I love it even more when actors royally screw it up (Keira Knightly in The Jacket, for instance, I can't watch that movie without laughing).

So here's one for Adelaide: Dear Miss Clemens, in America, we say "been" like the name Ben. Not like bean. Your Australian was showing. That is all.

Kit Harington, best known for his role as Lord Jon Snow in the television series, Game of Thrones, was far worse. While Clemens only slipped on the one word, Harington's accent was all over the place. It sounded as if he were trying to do a New Jersey accent (one of the least pleasurable sounds on earth, except for maybe yaks humping). Perhaps he should stick to roles in fantasy films with English pretensions.

Reprising their roles from the first film are Radha Mitchell and Sean Bean. Given the awful script and the fact that these two are fairly decent actors, I can only assume truck loads of money passed hands or someone's loved ones were held at gun point to get them to come back for Revelation.

The plot, for no apparent reason, contained the following:: Indian burial grounds, two halves of an amulet that can open the gateway between worlds (even though only the demon can open the bridge according to the original Silent Hill), Malcolm McDowell, a cult that is stuck in foggy Silent Hill and yet can some how hire a detective in the real world to find Sharon, and finally, a demon fight where we're supposed to cheer for Pyramid Head.

And now for the stupid, dumb detail. Sharon and Vincent are cousins. Silent Hill: Revelations had cousins making out.

Let that marinate for a while.

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